Go ahead. Explain yourself. I'm mature enough now. Actually, on second thought, I always have been. I knew your bull shit even when I was nine years old. I was never oblivious. I knew it all. You tried to show me the picture of her and her kids and told me I could only see it if I didn't tell mom. I told you I couldn't promise that. I knew who they were. Your new family. You were going to replace us. Why? Are we old tires that are worn down and need replacement? Don't make religious excuses. You never had a problem with us being Jewish before. You got bored. You weren't trying to find Jesus, but you were abandoning us. You were even going to move all the way to California for her you BASTARD! This was all before the divorce. I was so stupid for believing they were just business trips! I HATE MYSELF FOR BELIEVING YOU! You soon found out things sometimes don't work out. SHE DUMPED YOUR ASS! HA! You left a family for a women who didn't want to keep you around. You fucked us over and you ended up getting fucked. You wanted us back. No one wanted you. I'm the youngest. I was only maybe nine years old and I was the one who had to pity you because no one else would. They thought I was naive and didn't know what you did. They thought that I would want to help you, and I did. But now I know that it was guilt. I knew you had no friends. I was your only hope. And now I'm older, but still the youngest. Still forced to answer your calls, hang out with you on Sundays when I don't want your fat ass over here. I told you what you could do to earn my respect. Lose some weight, don't look like a slob around me, try to be decent...and what do you do? You come to my house with no respect for me. You sit on the couch and do nothing. You just lay there like a vegetable. You have the audacity even to sometimes snap at me. And how dare you favor my sister when all she's done is HATE YOU. And all I've done is been there for you until recently when I got sick of it. But for some reason I still cry for you. I'm not cold. I wish I couldn't forgive you. I can't help but feel the loss of my father. I NEED A FATHER! Can't you understand? I did everything for you that you should have been doing for me. I raised you, I comforted you. I'm tired of it. Step up. Stop giving me these feelings of guilt or I will cut you off from me when I'm out of the house. You should know this by now.